5 Lessons for men meeting new women

I’m guessing it’s something like: “Nice guys are afraid of rejection, don’t want to bother you when you’re out, and are generally more concerned with the consequences of being embarrassed than with actually meeting you.” It may be true, but, as truth goes, it’s a pretty sad state of affairs. What’s easy to forget is that most women want to be approached by you. By not approaching them, you’re letting them down and allowing the creeps to take their shot. Follow these lessons and the next time you’re out, maybe you’ll prove that nice guys don’t finish last.

Lesson #1: Assume the answer is yes
Have you ever been sold a product before? Hair tonic, a car, bathroom tile? I can guarantee you that the salesperson didn’t pitch you by saying, “Um, excuse me… I hate to bother you… would you be interested in… I mean, probably not, but—” No! Any salesman worth his commission is not just selling confidence in his product, but confidence in himself. “Confidence says I’m bright, I’m likeable, women have liked me in the past, I’m comfortable in my own skin,” says Victor, 38, a real estate broker. “Since she has to make a decision on the spot, confidence through nonverbal communication makes the best impression.” You can even “fake it ’til you make it” through these two very simple means: Smile and maintain eye contact. And remember: If you don’t know that you’re worth talking to, how would she know?

Lesson #2: It’s not about you
I’m out at a big Hollywood scene with beautiful people. It’s getting late, towards the end of the night, and I ask my buddy Terrance which woman he’s got his eye on. He points to an attractive brunette talking to a cute blonde across the courtyard. Slightly bemused, I tell him that I will make the introduction. As I stride over, I rationalize that if my approach doesn’t go well, she’s not really rejecting me, but rather, Terrance. I know this isn’t true, but it gets me going.

I arrive while the women are in mid-conversation. I say nothing for a few seconds and when they both look at me, I chime in: “You guys just keep talking. I’ll interrupt when I’ve got something interesting to contribute.” And that was it. It wasn’t a line. It wasn’t planned. It just happened. After three minutes, Terrance came over, I made the introductions, and we both got phone numbers. The moral of the story? Playing my little conversational trick in all pick-up situations can be really helpful. Just ask any married friend how easy it is to talk with women when you know that there are no stakes involved. If it’s not about you, you can’t possibly fail.

Lesson #3: There’s power in numbers
Believe it or not, three is better than one. When you approach a woman who is by herself, she knows that you’re hitting on her based solely on your attraction to her. This increases the pressure in a way that doesn’t always make for a comfortable situation. That’s why the safest way to meet a woman is to approach her in a crowd of her friends. Now there’s no pressure, because nobody knows who you’re hitting on, and you can just be the friendly guy who’s chatting with everybody. “If you’re charming, funny or bright,” says Charles, 36, “she might find herself interested in you before you’ve expressed interest in her.” This tilts things in your favor, even to the point where you might be in control. “By charming her friends and getting their approval, the one you like will be that much more open when you ask her out,” adds Charles.

Lesson #4: It’s just that easy
If you ever doubt how simple it can be to meet a woman, this story should inspire you: I was at a party with some close friends and saw an acquaintance across the room. Late 30s, attractive, friendly, likeable. We’d met probably four times before through a mutual friend who was also at the party. When our eyes met, I smiled at her. She smiled back. Because it was a large and crowded room, I put out my index finger and beckoned her to come over to me. She sort of did a double take, smiled even more broadly and came right over.

“Hi,” I said, warmly.
“Hi,” she said, blankly. Then it hit me.
“You have no idea who I am,” I said.
“None whatsoever,” she replied.
“It’s Evan. Evan Katz.”
“Oh, yes — we’ve met! You cut your hair. I didn’t even recognize you.” She gave me a hug. But I had one more important question to ask her before we continued talking.
“Is it really that easy to get a woman to talk to you… just by calling her over with your finger?”
She took a second to consider the evidence and replied, “Apparently, it is.”

So there you have it. We men have more power than we even realized.

Lesson #5: The outcome doesn’t matter
Maybe you’re not her type. Maybe she’s just out of a relationship. Maybe she’s having troubles at work. Maybe she’s not perceptive enough to recognize your worth. You never know why someone may not be interested in you. Truthfully, it doesn’t matter. It’s more diminishing to your self-esteem to let fear run your life than it is to get rejected. Here’s one story below that showcases this in a big way.

So I was in the checkout line at the grocery store, and I was waiting for a woman with 400 coupons. In the meantime, I was talking to the tall, raven-haired cutie behind me. We were making jokes, laughing, passing the time. All in all, a very pleasant five minutes of my life. The coupon lady finished up. I paid for my stuff, said goodbye to my new friend and rolled my cart out the door.

The second I hit the fresh air, I was kicking myself: Dummy! Why didn’t you ask for her phone number? Because I got all embarrassed what with the other people in line and the woman swiping my bar codes. Because of all the other reasons that nice guys wimp out. I decided that this would not do. I was going to wait until she came out of the supermarket and ask her out. And that’s what I did.

“Hey, it was a lot of fun meeting you in there,” I said to her as she emerged with her bags. “I was wondering if you’d like to grab lunch sometime.”

A big smile came across her face. “You are so cute and I couldn’t be more flattered, but I have a serious, live-in boyfriend. But I really want to thank you for asking. You totally made my day.” After she said goodbye, I went home, walking on air, so happy that I did it, instead of wishing I did it, like so many times before. It didn’t matter if she had a boyfriend or if she was lying or being polite or whatever — all that mattered was that I took a big swing at the plate and even didn’t hurt myself in the process.

By: Evan Marc Katz | happenmag.com

Natural tips for gray hair and hair loss

GRAY HAIR
Here are recommendations for graying hair:

* Eat for hair health. The Chinese have long discovered that black sesame seeds, black beans, and walnuts reverse graying. For healthy and shiny hair, eat foods everyday that are rich in essential fatty acids and omega-rich nutrients: flaxseed oil, sesame oil, olive oil, virgin coconut oil, avocado, beans, nuts and seeds.

* Chinese herbs for graying hair. “Shou wu” (also called “fo-ti” or polygonum root) is a hair nurture supplement available in Asian herb stores, used to restore hair growth and reverse graying. Rich in vitamin E and the B-complex vitamins, Shou wu has many other health benefits: It supports healthy estrogen profiles in women, stimulates red blood cell production, builds your immune system, maintains healthy cholesterol levels, and improves intestinal regularity.

* Color your hair naturally. If you want to dye your hair, use the following natural colorants: Henna works well for shades of light brown and red, coffee or black tea may be used by brunettes, and chamomile and lemon juice can color light hair.

HAIR LOSS
Hair growth is affected by the hormonal system, in particular the androgenic hormones, which include testosterone and a derivative of testosterone called DHT. It is normal to lose around 100 hairs each day, which are replaced within days. However, as we age, our hormone levels fluctuate and start to decline. This reduces the stimulus to the hair follicles and results in hair loss. In Chinese medicine, hair loss is thought to be caused by activities that deplete your vital essence: stress, physical and emotional strain, an unhealthy lifestyle, and alcohol–all of which hasten your hormonal decline.

Here are some hair replenishing remedies:

* Ginger juice helps hair loss. Massage your scalp with fresh ginger juice. Squeeze a 1-inch chunk of ginger root in a garlic press to yield juice. Rub the fresh ginger juice into affected part of scalp. Leave it on for 15 to 20 minutes and then rinse it out–or leave it on overnight to stimulate the hair follicles.

* Arbovita replenishes hair. Apply the Chinese herb arborvita to stimulate follicles, improve blood flow, and strip away root-clogging oils. I have used this herb for my patients over the last twenty years with very good success. It is found in Hair Tonic, a topical solution. Other Chinese herbs traditionally used for hair loss include eclipta, shou wu, ginger, and sesame. For a natural herbal blend that combines all these herbs to nourish hair follicles and promote healthy hair, try Hair Nurture Formula.

* Stimulate blood flow. Try this Dao In Massage exercise, which I recommend to all my hair-loss patients. This local stimulation can help invigorate blood circulation. Sit comfortably on a chair. Using the tips of all 10 fingers, gently tap the head all over, stimulating the scalp for about one minute. Begin with light force and gently increase to moderate strength. Then massage the scalp with both hands for 2 minutes, gently at first and then more vigorously taking care not to pull out hair. Straighten the fingers of your right hand, and with the palm side of fingers gently tap all over the scalp 36 times. Repeat with your left hand, another 36 times. To get the best results, do this exercise twice a day.

SCALP PROBLEMS
It’s normal to have some degree of dandruff. Your scalp undergoes regular regeneration and dead skin is shed to allow new skin to grow. This flaking can become worse when hormonal imbalances, stress, and improper diet come into play. Dandruff is at its worst during winter and fall, when the air tends to be dry.

Remedies for scalp issues:

* Apply aloe gel. Squeeze aloe juice directly from the stem of the plant and massage into the scalp once a day, preferably before bedtime, for an entire month. You can get better results by leaving the aloe on overnight and rinsing it out in your morning shower.

* A baking soda head scrub. In the shower, wet your hands and scrub baking soda vigorously into your scalp. After rinsing it out, massage Tonic Oil- containing the oils of wintergreen, eucalyptus, and menthol-into your scalp. Leave this on for 10 minutes before shampooing.

* Soak your scalp in green tea. Prepare a mild green tea, and soak your scalp in it for 10 minutes, shampooing out with olive oil, avocado oil, or hypoallergenic shampoo.

For extremely flaky dandruff and dry skin, I often recommend to my patients our Exquisite Skin Chinese herbal formula.

TIPS FOR SHINY, HEALTHY HAIR
Whatever your hair issues, these will boost your overall hair and head health:

* Nourish your hair. For shiny hair, mash a ripe avocado, massage it into your hair and scalp, and leave it on for 1 to 2 hours once a week.

* Brush bad hair days away. Be like a renowned Chinese empress who had a full head of beautiful hair at the end of her long life, the result of a daily 500-stroke hair brushing. Using a natural-bristle brush, spread your hair’s natural oils with full strokes from the scalp down the to tips, 100 strokes every evening. Studies show steady massage and brushing over time stems hair loss, promotes hair growth, and generally improves hair quality.

* Less stress. For all hair and scalp problems, a daily program of stress reduction exercises and meditation can help regulate your energy and strengthen your essence.

* Go natural. Eliminate hair care products that contain harsh chemicals, which can damage hair roots and strip vital nutrients from the follicles. Use only products with natural ingredients.

Source: Yahoo.com

Top Break-up Signs

Top five signs you’re about to get dumped

1. Picking fights. No one is saying you have to get along 24/7. Constructive conflict can actually be good for your relationship. But if you find that your partner has become argumentative over petty issues like your clothes or choice of restaurant, that should serve as a warning sign that he/she may be looking for an excuse to bail.

2. Forgetting to call. Used to be that your phone would ring all day long with your sweetie wanting to make plans or calling just to say, “I love you.” Now your significant other doesn’t even call when he/she is running three hours late. It may seem obvious, but going from speed dial to a blocked number is a sure sign that your relationship may be nearing its expiration date.

3. Changing their stripes. A major change in appearance can be a sign that your partner is looking toward greener pastures. Whether they’ve chopped off their hair, lost 40 pounds or gone from a bold brunette to a sultry blonde, major cosmetic changes should be noted. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being a little vain, but if the change is accompanied by any of the other signs listed here, you may need to get ready to go solo.

4. Criticizing. If your sweetie isn’t feeling you anymore, don’t be surprised if he/she becomes less tolerant of everything, from how you brush your teeth to how you tie your shoes. Constant criticism is a telltale sign that your days as a twosome are numbered.

5. Losing sexual interest. A healthy sex life can make or break a relationship. If you find that your partner is becoming more sexually aloof, you need to get to the root of the issue. While it’s natural to have less sex as you settle into a comfortable groove together, waiting weeks or months to have sexual contact is a sign that something is amiss.
Now that you know the warning signs, don’t panic. Just because your partner exhibits some of these behaviors, that doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over. In fact, it’s usually a combination of signs and not one isolated incident that foreshadows a breakup.
If you’re worried that your partner is itching to get out, the most important thing you can do is sit down and discuss your issues in an honest and open manner. If you take these signs as your cue to improve communication, your relationship may just have a fighting chance.

Source: yahoo.com